Archive for ◊ June, 2009 ◊

How To Write An Irritating Blog Post
Tuesday, June 09th, 2009 | Author: Beamer
  1. Step 1

    It amazes me that some bloggers, especially the BIG bloggers, don’t “see” what they’re writing. Have they been at it for so long, and written so many posts, that they no longer “hear” themselves? Or are they all writing from the same pieces of PLR? PLR purchased somewhere down the line, from one maniacal individual on a mission to overtake the world by driving it’s inhabitants insane one earworm at a time!

  2. Step 2

    Take this phrase for example – “That being said, I…”. Or a variation, “That said,I…” or even, “Having said that, I…”

    I’ve been following a particular blogger lately, a highly respected and well followed fellow, and I think he may be the little mad scientist behind all of this. After all, someone with his credentials certainly wouldn’t resort to PLR. So he MUST be the one creating these annoying little earworms.

    This niggling little phrase has popped up in his blog posts and articles, and even his book!, so many times, that I can barely stand to read him anymore!

    And were it not for the fact that I have enough luxurious, thick, curly black hair for three people, I’d be bald right now from ripping my hair out in frustration!

  3. Step 3

    Another annoying word I’ve been seeing a lot of lately is “Piehole”. As in, “Shut your piehole!” or “I stuffed my piehole with…”. I understand what a “Piehole” is. But c’mon, people! The blogger’s I’ve seen using this word are supposed to be educated and informative. Can’t you come up with a better term than that? It brings to mind a very negative and somewhat disturbing image!

  4. Step 4

    If I hear the term, “Stay On Message”, one more time, I think I may just reach right through my computer and strangle someone! Have these bloggers no imagination? Honestly! “Stay On Message”!? This isn’t the army and it’s not “Rocket Science”, (ANOTHER annoying phrase!). Don’t speak to me like you work for the Pentagon. And change it up occasionally. How about, “Make sure you’re sticking to the topic” or, “Does your post reflect the title” or even, “Don’t allow yourself to be distracted”.

  5. Step 5

    After you read enough blogs, you begin to notice the little repetitive phrases that are worming their way into your brain. You may even begin using them yourself, thereby contributing to the downfall of civilization as we know it!

    So, in your writings, watch out for phrases like, “Outside the box” and “Be that as it may”. Or “Long story short” and “All things being equal”.

    And, for heaven’s sake, please stop using “irregardless”!

    If you have something to say, say it. That being said, If you can’t stay on message, then please shut your piehole!

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How To Spend Your Vacation Blogging
Tuesday, June 09th, 2009 | Author: Beamer
  1. Step 1

    Hit the time clock at your job and head home. Your 9 Day Vacation/Blog-a-thon starts NOW!

    Stop at the grocery store on your way home and pick up the following essentials:
    Bread, Peanut Butter, Jelly, Chips, Coffee, Cream and Sugar, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Cigarettes, Microwave Popcorn, Water, Toilet Paper, and Dog Treats. Make sure you get enough of everything to last you a week or 9 days, depending on how many vacation days you managed to finagle. Don’t waste your money steaks or salmon or anything you have to cook. You won’t make the time for it and you’ll just have to throw it away when it outdates. Trust me on this. My dumpster has seen more real food than I have this week.

  2. Step 2

    As soon as you get home, take the dog out. It will probably be the last time you two see daylight. Make it an extra long walk this time so you won’t feel guilty later on when he’s lying at your feet, almost comatose from kidney failure.

  3. Step 3

    Make you first of many pots of coffee, empty the ashtray, pull up a chair and start blogging! You have 3 blogs to work, 2 blogs to start and you haven’t submitted anything to eHow or any other site yet. This is going to be a busy week!

  4. Step 4

    Don’t go to bed! If you do, you’ll just sleep later than you wanted and any time spent away from your blogs is time down the drain! You can occasionally nod off at your computer, but this is why I said to buy enough coffee to get you through 9 days!

  5. Step 5

    Run to the c-store for more cigarettes. You didn’t get enough, did you? I warned you! And don’t go to the grocery store to get them. You’ll waste too much time in line and you’ll just be tempted to buy something you’ll have to cook. If you need more food, get it at the C-store with your cigarettes. And if you really feel you need something that’s been cooked, they have hot dogs! Get one for your dog, too.

  6. Step 6

    Take your dog for a 10 minute walk twice a day. It doesn’t matter what time. I take my dog out at about 4 PM and again at 8 PM. Any more than that and he starts to think I owe it to him. Give him a cookie, scratch his ears and get back to work. 20 minutes of walking is enough for any human!

  7. Step 7

    On Day 9 of your Vacation/Blog-a-thon, do everything you had been putting of until vacation. Do the laundry, put all your coffee cups in the dishwasher, run the vacuum, throw away the newspapers you never read, pay your bills, take you dog for a good, long walk, sit in the sun for awhile with a good book….yeah, riiiiiight…who am I kidding! Don’t waste time doing ANY of that stuff! You have a whole day of blogging left! Get to it!

Tips & Warnings
  • Day One through Eight – Keep the coffee pot full! This is actually the way I tell time and keep to a schedule. It takes me approximately 2 hours – give or take – to go through a pot of coffee. You want to have your coffee pot as close to your work area as possible so you can avoid any unnecessary movement and so you can see it at all times. When I look up and the pot is empty, that means it’s time to move onto my next task – either the next blog or the next article, or the next Tweet, whatever.
  • Each time you make a new pot of coffee, hit the bathroom! That way you don’t have to get up as often. Also, empty the ashtray, make sure you have cigarettes, scratch your dog behind the ears and give him a cookie, check the printer paper, and make sure there are chips or cookies handy.
  • By the time all that is done, the next pot of coffee should be ready. Fill your cup and sit back down. You’re on a roll with your new blog and you don’t have time to take the dog out right now!
  • On Days 3 and 6, take a shower. It will wake you up and your dog will thank you for it. Don’t worry about shaving or makeup. No one else is going to see you because you’ll be facing your computer all week.
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How To Choose A Profitable Niche For Your Blog
Tuesday, June 09th, 2009 | Author: Beamer

OK, let’s get down to business here.  I’ve told you why Niche Blogging, now it’s time to start on the HOW of Niche Blogging.

By now you’ve probably got all kinds of blog ideas running through your mind.  And that’s good!  Every idea is a good idea.  Don’t let anyone tell you any differently.  Even if there are already thousands of blogs out there on “Staying Sane While Your Kid Learns To Play The Tuba”,  if your blog is well written, full of lots of good information and you market it right, it could be the one at the top of the list when someone Googles “Tuba Trouble”!

Here are some things to consider when choosing your topic for your niche blog:

  • Is it a topic you’re interested in?
    • Something to think about – while your blog may start producing a small amount of income in a month or so, most successful blogs take a year or two to start producing regularly.  Is this a topic that you could write a lot about, for a long time?
  • Is the topic popular?
    • While you may be interested in Tuba Playing Children, how many others out there are?  If no one is interested in the topic you choose, you won’t get a lot of visitors.  No visitors = No sales.  Think about the topics that you search for on the web.  Or look at the TV news or the newspapers to see what people are discussing right now.
  • Is there a lot of competition?
    • If you think you’ve found a hot topic or niche, then chances are someone else has had the exact same idea.  If there’s too much competition, you may never be seen.  If you have the time and energy to devote to making your blog stand out from the crowd, then go for it.
    • And don’t let someone talk you out of this one, girls!  If you want to do a blog about knitting, then do it!  There are ways to successfully market your blog and shoot it to the top.  And even though there may be thousands of blogs on knitting, there are BILLIONS of people in the world looking for knitting advice.  You only need SOME of them to find you.  And if it’s something you feel passionate about, then knitting it is!
  • Can you provide something that your competition is NOT?
    • Look at some of those other knitting blogs out there and see what they’re missing.  YOU knit.  So you know what to look for.  Maybe they don’t show enough pictures of stitches.  Maybe their patterns are always missing a step.  Maybe they’re just plain boring and you think you could make yours a lot more attractive or entertaining.
    • Do you create your own patterns?  You could offer them to your visitors.  Do you have a sense of humor?  You could include daily “Purls of Wisdom”.
  • Can you make money with this topic?
    • Look at those other knitting blogs.  Do they have ads on them anywhere?  Is there a related product that you could sell?  Maybe you could sell those patterns you’ve created.
    • We’ll get into this later because it’s a whole category by itself, but there are Affiliate programs out there that want you to place ads on your blog.  Some of them sell eBooks on knitting!  (I haven’t looked to see if there are any eBooks on Teaching Your Child To Play The Tuba.)

To help you narrow your final choice down even further, think about what types of sites you go looking for.  What are you usually searching for on the web?  Is there one particular topic that you get excited about, that you just can’t stop talking about?  Is there one topic that your family and friends come to you for advice about?

In my next post, I’ll give you a couple of tools to help you make that final decision.

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Niche Blogging is a great way to earn money on line for a number of reasons:

* You can write about topics that you already know about

* You can blog anytime – day or night

* Writing a post takes just a few minutes

* Once your blog is up, it requires very little maintenance

* Niche Blogs earn Passive Income

Don’t get me wrong, now. Niche Blogging takes a lot of work. You have to be committed and it takes awhile to see results. But once you DO start seeing those results, it has a snowball effect.

A lot of people start out in Niche Blogging thinking they’re going to do it faster and better than anyone else and they’re going to get rich RIGHT NOW! If that’s what you’re thinking, then I wish you well.

Amy Bass, creator of The Niche Blogger Membership Site, worked on her Niche Blogs for a year, steadily growing her content and her traffic. She’s a stay at home mom with 4 kids, so you know she had to work on her blogs while juggling housework, laundry, cooking, and play dates. She spent a lot of nights at the computer while everyone else slept. She did a lot of her blogging with a baby on her lap. In fact, in her instructional videos for The Niche Blogger Program, you can hear her children in the background!

But she had a goal – she wanted her family to be debt free within 2 years. She was committed to her plan and she was driven to succeed. And you have to be, too.

At the end of her first year of blogging, Amy was making $5,000.00 a month!

Darren Rowse, author of “ProBlogger: Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six-Figure Income, started on his path to successful niche blogging in November of 2002. While working at 3 other jobs!

Again, Darren had a goal – he wanted to be a full-time blogger. And he was also driven to succeed. Who wouldn’t rather work their own schedule, from home, than go out and set up circuses! (He hasn’t explained that one yet!)

At the end of 3 1/2 years of blogging through the night, blogging on his days off, and probably blogging in his sleep!, Darren was able to quit all of his other jobs and become a Full-Time Blogger because he was making over $100,000.00 a year from it! His highly successful AND educational blog about blogging can be found at ProBlogger.net.

My point is, if you are committed to your goal of earning money on line, and if you are driven to succeed, Niche Blogging is the best way to go.

You can set up a blog with 50 or 60 posts, put some ads on it, then just leave it alone and let it work for you. Niche blogs are like little 24/7 salesman, they’re always out there working, even when you’re NOT. Sure, you go check up on them occasionally, add a few posts here and there, but you don’t have to be there 8 or 9 hours a day 5 or 6 days a week. Once your blog is up, it stays up and continues to earn you passive income whether you’re there or not.

Amy and Darren, and most other successful bloggers, have more than one blog running. Sometimes twenty, or fifty or more. And yes, the more blogs you have up, the more time you’re going to spend at it. But there are still only 24 hours a day, and you’ll still only be working a percentage of those hours.

But YOU determine how many hours a day you work and what days you work. If you want to take a month off, do it! Your little blog is still out there working away, earning you passive income. If you want to use your time to create another blog, do it! That other blog is still out there earning you money!

Written by Beamer. Visit her blog, dedicated to helping beginning women bloggers at http://Paid2Blogg.com

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What Is Passive Income And How Can I Get Some
Tuesday, June 09th, 2009 | Author: Beamer

Passive income is:

Repeated, regular income, generated by a business that does not require direct involvement from the owner or merchant. Wikipedia.

Take books for example.

The author of a book works for months or sometimes years getting that book written. They may work an hour a day or 8 hours a day. They may take months off in between chapters and go lie on a beach somewhere.

But they’re not earning any money while they write the book. They only begin earning once the book is published and starts selling. After the book is published, though, they are done with it. They can go play on the beach forever now if they want to. Because the book continues to sell. And every time it sells, the author gets a residual check, a sales commission so to speak. That is passive income. Repeat, regular income generated from the original effort of writing the book.

Another example is song writing.

The writer of the song toils away at his little piano, scratching out a new song for say, Britney Spears. (Sorry for the bad example. I just saw something about her on Yahoo so now she’s the only singer who comes to mind.)

But this writer may spend a few hours or a few days, at this task. While he’s writing the song, he’s earning nothing from it. He’s only hoping it will sell. He’s giving it his best effort because he WANTS it to sell. He has committed to his family that he will put dinner on the table and a roof over their heads. And he is driven to succeed because he loves his family and doesn’t want his wife bashing him over the head with her frying pan!

Once Britney records his song and it starts selling, our writer begins to earn money. Now he can feed his family. And years from now, when some die-hard Britney Spears fan buys that song, he’ll still be earning Passive Income from that sale, too.

Passive Income in blogging and internet marketing works the same way.

You spend hours or days or months setting up a blog or marketing website but you don’t earn any money from it until you sell something.

Most blogs that you see have some type of advertising on them. Look over to the right on this page. You’ll see some ads I have that Google runs. And up at the top of the page you’ll see an ad for HostGator. Every time someone clicks on one of those ads and buys the product, I make money. Even if I’m not sitting here, at my desk, watching this blog. If I were to leave town today, and not come back for a year, I would still earn money every time someone clicks that HostGator ad and signs up for their Hosting plan.

That is the beauty of Passive Income and Blogging!

Written by Beamer. Visit her blog, dedicated to helping beginning women bloggers at http://Paid2Blogg.com

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What Is The Difference Between A Blog And A Website
Tuesday, June 09th, 2009 | Author: Beamer

So just what exactly IS a blog?

Very basically – a Blog is a particular type of website. That’s it in a nutshell. But a website is not always a Blog.

eBay is a website. blog.ezinearticles.com is a blog. When you look up car insurance on the internet, you’re going to a website. When you’re reading the ProBlogger.net site, you’re reading a blog.

A website, generally, presents information. It may have lots of pages of content, and you may be able to buy something, but they’re not actually communicating with you. They’ve just put a bunch of information on a page to sell you something.

When blogging first came about on the internet, it was a way for people to communicate with friends and family members. They would post holiday pictures and tell about their jobs and vacations.

So blogs are a more personal way of communicating. And they usually allow, in fact they invite, some type of interaction. For example, the comment section. And some bloggers like to include polls in their blogs, either for entertainment or to gauge their visitors’ reactions to a post.

Bloggers want you to leave a comment. That way they know you’ve been there and they know they influenced you enough for you to speak your mind about the topic. And then the next visitor will chime in and eventually, you have a whole group conversation going on.

Blogs are a lot more personal, too, than a website. When you go to Geico.com, sure, you’re going to be greeted by that cute little talking gecko. But he doesn’t really care that he’s talking to you. He’s just spouting marketing information. He doesn’t even really know that you’re sitting there.

But when you visit a blog, it’s like going to someone’s home. I may not be able to see you, but I care whether you’re comfortable and at ease. And I hope you DO talk to me and let me talk to you!

Blogs also usually have a lot more content, or articles, than a website. A website is a one shot deal. You put it up and forget about it. But a good blog is constantly growing, with new material, or posts, being added on a regular basis to keep your visitors interested and coming back for more.

Think about it – If you went to visit Mrs. Smith, next door, how long would you stay and how often would you return if all she said was, “Hello, welcome to my home” and then she just sat there?

Here are some more Blog vs. Website examples:

Websites

* HostGator.com
* Target.com
* The Shell Factory.com

Blogs

* Stumble Rumba.com
* Blogging Guy.com
* Waiter Rant.com

In my next post, I’ll explain about some of the different types of blogs and how people use them to make money.

Written by Beamer. Visit her blog, dedicated to helping beginning women bloggers at http://Paid2Blogg.com

You and your buddy have been best friends since grade school. You’ve seen each other through thick and thin, ups and downs and agonies and defeats. And now you must take on one of the most difficult tasks of your life – the Best Man Speech! AAaggghhh!

The Best Man Speech, also known as a toast, is a traditional and important part of nearly every wedding ceremony and will be remembered by all long after the day is over. The speech traditionally honors the Groom, with a brief nod toward the Bride, and congratulates the happy couple.

Delivering a successful speech requires some planning. Most of us are not experienced at public speaking. And few of us look forward to it. Even The President has his speeches prepared in advance and then practices them beforehand.

Consider these basic public speaking tips while preparing your Best Man Speech.

  • Ignore the fact that there may be a few hundred people hanging on your every word. Imagine you are speaking to one, single person. Pick one face out of the crowd if you have to, to concentrate your attention on.
  • Speak in your normal tone of voice. Don’t use this speech to try out your British Accent.
  • Use your own words. If you wouldn’t ordinarily say, “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen”, then don’t start now. You’ll just trip yourself up. Being yourself will help you feel more at ease and you’ll deliver a much better speech.
  • Speak clearly and enunciate. That means, don’t drop the Ds and Ts and such from the end of your words.
  • Leave out those irritating phrases like, “That being said” and “Ya know” and like, “Like”. Speak like the mature adult you know you can be.

A successful Best Man speech should be respectful and include some humorous anecdotes about the groom. Your comments should be personal and sincere, although appropriate for the general audience, too. Appropriate in that they are not only NOT X rated, but also easily understood by the various age groups present at the reception.Start off by introducing yourself and then maybe include an amusing little story about how you and the groom met or when you first realized you were destined to be best friends forever. Maybe offer up a few humorous stories about the planning of the wedding or your observations on the groom’s choice of wedding attire.

Make sure to compliment the Bride and her attendants, also. And even if you despise your best friends choice of mates, you must behave as if you wish you had found her first! This is HER day and even though you’re speaking for the Groom, she is still the star.

End you speech by toasting the happy couple and wishing them a lifetime of happiness!

Best Man Speeches can vary in length, but 5 to 10 minutes is best. Any shorter and people will wonder about what you DIDN’T say. Any longer, and people will get bored.

One more very important tip: Be sure to remain sober until AFTER you deliver your speech. Nothing looks worse than a sloppy, slurry Best Man trying to remove his own foot from his mouth!

Delivering a good Best Man Speech is just one of the many duties of the Best Man. And what about the Maid of Honor? And the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen? There are so many things to consider when planning your wedding. From where to hold the reception to what song to chose for your first dance. For tips on Planning Your Wedding and Your Wedding Budget, visit For Love Birds Only!

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Save Money – Make Your Own Wedding Invitations
Tuesday, June 09th, 2009 | Author: Beamer

The Wedding Invitation is the first impression your guests receive about your wedding.  The style of your invitation conveys the message of just how formal your affair will be.

If you’ve priced wedding invitations lately, you’ve found they can be a huge drain on the budget.  You can end up spending hundreds of dollars on invitations, RSVP cards, save the date cards, envelopes and postage – for just an average sized guest list!

And while looking through all those catalogs, did you notice that eventually all the invitations looked the same?  With the same fonts and the same phrases?  Even the same picture of a bouquet of roses or the wedding rings.

To save money and have a unique style that’s all your own, consider making your own wedding invitations.  For a fraction of the cost of store bought invites you can turn out invitations that speak specifically to YOUR guests about YOUR wedding!

Use Your Computer

A quick trip to your nearby office supply store will reveal a variety of papers suitable for creating your own invitations.  These papers are designed to be used with your printer, so you won’t have to worry about destroying any of your hardware.  A lot of these papers also come with a template to help you design the layout of your invitation.  Do you want 2 to a page?  Do you want one fold or two?  Check the back of the package for details and to make sure your computer has the necessary program, if any.

A quick Google search will turn up loads of free fonts that you can download to use in your design.  Type in “Free Fonts” or get more specific and try “Free Wedding Fonts”.  Most sites that offer free font downloads will also tell you how to use them.

If you’d like to have a picture on your invitation, do another search for “Free Wedding Clipart”.  A lot of wedding sites offer this as a freebie to attract to in.  Or take a look at some of your recent home pictures.  Maybe you’d like to have a picture of you and your fiance on the front of the invitation.  Your computer probably already has an image program that will work fine for this application.  You won’t need to download or buy one of those fancier programs.

Get Crafty With It!

Not confident enough about your computer skills?  Take a trip to your local craft store and check out all the scrapbooking supplies!  There is an amazing selection of wedding materials.  Instead of using all those cute little doodads and beautiful papers to make a scrapbook, create your own unique invitations.  The possibilities are endless!

Every bride has a dream for her wedding. But, in today’s economy, it’s tough to make that dream come true. Making Your Own Wedding Invitations is just one of the many ways you can save money and extend your wedding budget. Find out some other ways you can save up to 80% on your wedding budget by visiting For Love Birds Only!

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I Can’t Find Your Website
Tuesday, June 09th, 2009 | Author: Beamer

A lawncare provider left a business card on my door yesterday while I was out running errands.  Apparently, he thought my weed-laden garden needed some help.   Concerned about my withering Wisteria, I decided to contact him and see what he suggested.  Since it was after hours, I went to the website listed on his card to see what kind of work he did.  And lo and behold – I could not find his website!

This happens all the time.  How many business cards do you have on your desk right now?   Get the ones that list a website and then try to find that website.  Good luck!

It’s a sure sign of the times that business owners recognize the need for a website or blog today.  Gone are the days of telephones and yellow pages and information operators.  Now, everyone goes to the internet for their information.  It’s quicker, they get MORE information in less time, and they can access it from anywhere, anytime – home, the office, and even their mobile phones.

Most small business owners, though, know nothing about blogging and have no time to learn.  They’re busy concentrating on their business!  And that’s as it should be.  Spread yourself too thin and nothing gets accomplished.

Consequently, these business owners try to publish a quick blog or even a small website and it either gets lost in the ethernet or never makes it there at all.

Any small business or organization that has a product or image to promote will benefit from a blog:

  • Lawn Care Companies
  • Restaurants
  • Hair and Nail Salons
  • Builders and Contractors
  • Churches
  • Doctors and Dentists
  • Veterinarians
  • Pet Sitters and House Sitters
  • Animal Rescue Organizations
  • Child Care Providers
  • Schools
  • And on, and on…..

Imagine if that lawn care company did more than just say they had a website.  If Joe’s Complete Lawn and Garden Service really had an accessible blog, they could:

  • Show before and after pictures of the gardens they’ve rescued
    • What a great way to advertise your business – SHOW people that you do the job!  By posting regularly to your blog, your potential new customers will be able to see each successful job you do, not just the one that’s featured on your one page website.
  • Discuss and explain unique services that only they provide
    • Maybe you have a secret fertilizer formula or a special technique for trimming hedges.  Using a blog to convey this to your potential customers allows you to remind them IN EACH POST that you are the BEST!  It’s a proven fact in the marketing industry that your potential customer needs to see your information approximately 7 times before they will buy.  Your website will only show them one point of view.  But you can change your blog offering everyday if you’d like.
  • Give helpful tips on How To Make Your Garden Grow
    • One tip that successful bloggers use to attract more customers to their site is to provide a weekly feature post, for example Monday Morning Mowing Tips.  This quickly establishes your expertise in your field, not only bringing back existing customers every week, but attracting new ones as well.
  • Offer discounts or freebies to existing customers
    • Everybody likes to get something FREE!  With a blog, you can change that freebie everyday and let the whole world know about it.  And with a blog, you don’t even have to give them a free petunia!  You can offer free downloads of eBooks that have to do with gardening or lawncare.  When your existing customers recieve a freebie, you KNOW they’re going to tell their friends about it!
  • Reach an unlimited number of customers!
    • It’s a lot easier for Mrs. Smith to tell people that she was able to contact you at HowYourGardenGrows.com than it is for her to run in the house, find the phone book, find the page and then remember the name of your company out of all the other lawn care companies that are listed.  She can also send the link to your blog to all of her friends and family when she sends out her weekly email updates.
  • Enable your customers and potential customers to reach you day or night
    • Your customers will be able to see your excellent job results by reading the posts on your blog.  They’ll also be able to see all of your contact information and hours of operation.  Show them some of your basic rates, too, and then have an email box for them to contact you.

All of these features and sevices and more can be set up automatically within your blog.  Weekly newsletters via email and free downloadable eBooks can be set up so that you never have to touch them.  It’s all handled automatically.  Even the posting to your blog can be scheduled and automated so that you only have to post to your blog when YOU want to.

Now that you’ve seen how a blog could benefit your business, sign up below for even more information!

Yes!  I Want a FREE Copy of the eBook
HOW TO START A BUSINESS BLOG!

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SOWISA, Baby! SOWISA!
Tuesday, June 09th, 2009 | Author: Beamer

I actually thought, when I read it the first time, that I was going to hate it.  To me, it started off kind of slowly.  And the first appearance of Dooley seemed kind of cliche-ish, or overdone.  I thought it was just going to be another Psycho- On- The -Loose kind of story.  And I really hated that feeling because it had been awhile since I had time to sit down with a good King read and I’d really been looking forward to it.

lisey2

I should have never doubted the Master of Macabre!  What an incredible tale this was!

But I’m not sure I liked it for the same reasons that everyone else did.

I never connected with Lisey at all.  Through the whole story, I would speed read through the sections that concentrated on just Lisey.  Fortunately, there weren’t that many  LOL!

But Scott Landon!  I fell in love with that guy!  Maybe because I’ve always been attracted to Bad Boys… and Scott Landon was definitely a Bad Boy.

You know the type?  They have some deep, dark mystery in their past that prevents them from ever behaving like a mature, responsible adult.  They’re always out to have fun, no matter the cost.  You can’t ever rely on them to be where they’re supposed to be, when they’re supposed to be there.  But when they do turn up, OMG! They make you forget you were ever angry with them.  They have that cute, little, impish grin that always manages to melt your heart and they live for the moment, because they learned a long time ago that the present is fleeting and the future may never arrive.

Bad Boys always take care of their women, they’ll defend them to the death!  And Scott, even in DEATH, manages to take care of Lisey.  Scott knows, years before his death, that Lisey is going to desperately need his help.  And even though he’s usually three sheets to the wind, he’s there for her.  Of course, it’s not always when she NEEDS him to be there, but he’s there.  Bad Boys like to take care of business in their own time.

And Boo’ya Moon belonged to Scott, and his ancestors before him.   Scott is the one who showed Lisey how to get to Boo’ya Moon, and what it’s magical powers were.

And it was memories of Scott’s childhood and adolescence that Lisey finally drew her courage from.  The courage she needed to take care of her sister, Amanda, and the courage she needed to take a stand against Dooley.

Oh, and let’s not forget SOWISA, BABY!  What would Lisey had done if Scott had never imparted this bit of wisdom?!  I mean, come on…this woman gets a threatening phone call from a whack-o at the very beginning of the story, she STILL insists on wandering tearfully around in the dark, into empty barns, up into dark, empty lofts, and she doesn’t even pick up a gun until the end of the story!  (Apparently, Lisey never watched that scene in “Scary Movie” where the guy lists the things you should NOT do in a Horror movie!)

*Sigh*  I don’t know…I just don’t like Lisey.  I like Lisey and Scott together, and I like Scott, and I really liked this story.  I even like all of the sisters.  But something about Lisey…

In some ways, I think she’s weak.  Or maybe meek is the word.  Or codependent.

In one of her first memories of Scott, she tell us about waiting for him to show up to take her to a movie.  She sits and waits for hours, knowing full well that he’s out drinking with his buddies and if he DOES show up his going to be shit faced.  She gets angrier and angrier, YET SHE STILL SITS AND WAITS?!  And when he finally DOES show up, sure, she confronts him.  But…

  • what strong, independent woman would sit and wait that long for a guy she’s just barely met to show up knowing that he’s out getting drunk with his buddies instead of keeping the date with her that he set up?
  • after she confronts him, the drunk guy goes out and intentionally hurts himself to prove his sincerity and she immediately goes into mothering mode, all is forgotten, I think I love this guy….bleh!

Any woman worth her salt would have waited a total of maybe 30 minutes, called up her girls and gone out to find her own fun.  And if she DID happen to see the loser again, she would have told him…well, nothing.  Why waste her breath?

And throughout their courtship, she’s always afraid to ask him anything.  Afraid he’ll get angry at her, or afraid she’ll ruin the moment.

Even after they’re married, she still won’t confront him about anything.  He doesn’t talk to her for days, sits in his office drinking and NOT writing, and she just SITS (again, she SITS) and waits for him to “Come Out Of It”.  “Oh, well, he’s just being Scott.  He’ll come around.  He’ll talk to me again eventually….”  Blah, Blah, Blah…

C’mon Lisey, Strap On Whenever It Seems Appropriate!  Women’s shelters are full of women like you!

I think I’ll write to Stephen King and ask him to change the name of this book to “Scott’s Story About His Airhead Wife Who Couldn’t Remember to SOWISA, BABY! until it was almost too late!

Lisey’s Story

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